


Patience

by madlysanecatlady



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, Death, M/M, Sp Bunny, if that counts because kenny, sp bunny week, sp bunny week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 10:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16038704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlysanecatlady/pseuds/madlysanecatlady
Summary: Kenny doesn't have much patience, and what he does have is wearing quite thin without Butters.





	Patience

Kenny had experienced death countless times. Some of them quick, virtually painless, a gunshot to the head. Some of them were longer, more painful, spontaneously combusting. He had experienced it several times a day this week. Yet still he was not allowed the comfort of passing. He cursed his mother for engaging in the cult activities, before doing his best to remember that she had tried to do the best she could for her kids for the most part. He didn’t want to think any ill of one of the few people he had left, supportive and kind or not. Not this week. Not while it was so fresh.

He looked down at the loaded pistol in his hands and heaved a sigh. He looked up and around him at the blood-spattered walls and heaved an even heavier sigh. There was no point in trying again; the last twenty some odd tries did nothing, it would be stupid to think this one would be any different. With another, wearier sigh, Kenny hauled himself to his feet, kicking aside bullet casings to walk towards the door.

He stopped by the mirror on the way, taking a minute to look at himself. The inability to die had not extended to an inability to age, Kenny had found, looking at the reflection of an old man, still recognisably himself, looking back at him. He eyed the wrinkles lining his face and the thinning grey hair on his head and wondered if he would at least be allowed peace if he died of old age. He really hoped the research he had done into the matter proved correct; that would give him something to look forward to at least, even as his patience was beginning to run thin.

He stepped outside into the bright sunlight and frowned up at it. The sun had no business shining so blissfully when Kenny had lost the only source of light and happiness in his life. He frowned at his own indignance; Butter would have laughed at him, telling him it’s ok to be sad, but to always look for the sun when he was, to remind him that things are usually good. Kenny bit back a sob, feeling the tears running down his face as he walked. The Cemetery loomed into view and Kenny cut across the church’s parking lot and in through the gates, his feet carrying him along the familiar path to this destination.

The grave was still fresh, the tombstone’s marble glinting in the sunlight. The words _Leopold Butters Stotch – Beloved husband and son, Sunshine to our cloudy days_ greeted him warmly, a shadow of the man they represented but oddly comforting to Kenny as he sank to the ground next to the block of polished marble.

‘Hey babe,’ he mumbled. ‘I’m back. I know you kept telling me to not be sad when you went but… I am, Butters. I’m dying inside, I just wish my outside would follow. I tried, Butters baby, I tried so hard to follow, but whatever this is, whatever keeps me here, just won’t fucking let me go. It was bad enough before, but now that I don’t have you to come back to, well, I’ve got nothing left to live for, so why can’t they just fucking let me die?’

Kenny sighed, reaching out to touch the marble, smiling when he felt the warmth of the stone heating in the bright sunshine. ‘I know you’ll be pissed at me when you find out I’ve spent this last week without you just trying to die, but you’ll forgive me right? I’m not as strong as you always told me I am, my little sunshine. I can’t live without you, and I really don’t wanna try either, ok? I just wanna follow you. And I think I know how. It’s just a waiting game now. Once mom kicks it, I think I can too. And she ain’t got long left. That’s good, because I’m not super patient.’

He sat there for a second, hand resting on the tombstone as though hoping this could fill in as some sort of facsimile for his husband’s hand, until the buzzing of his phone in his pocket jarred him back to reality. He pulled it out to read the message.

> **Karen**  
>  _How you doing today? Better? Mom’s probably not gonna make it past the week so I’m with her, but let me know if you need anything. Love you bro._

Kenny smiled, knowing it was absolutely ridiculous to be so happy that his mother was probably going to die very soon, but he knew this was it. This was his chance to finally let go of this stupid world holding him hostage and to follow his love up to the clouds. His hand tightened around the smooth marble. ‘I’m coming babe. I’m coming to find you.’

It was lucky too, Kenny figured, that his mother’s health had already been failing when Butters’ had taken a turn for the worse. Kenny was a man of very little patience, and what little he had, in the wake of the worst week of his life, was wearing very thin. As sad as he was to have more death in his very near future, it was a relief to know it was almost over. He didn’t think his patience would last much longer.


End file.
